In 1957 the Soviet Space Program’s budget was 71 million dollars, and some young Russian woman was asked to sew a spacesuit for a small dog on her Singer Sewing Machine.On one of these.That was her thing. The great spike in her plotline. Towering above the rest of her life like the steepled section of a church. Itâ€™s what she was fated to do. And like Yuri Gagarin, like Neil Armstrong and Betsy Ross, after her purpose was served, after the cross was set atop her cathedral peak, she went about living the epilogue of far less enthralling follow-up tasks. Looking for a new peak, spike, or not; accepting she was one of those flowers that only blooms once or maybe not even recognizing the apex when she hit it. Hoop skirts let to A-line dresses, occasional Halloween outfits, cloth robot and hand dyed muslin Dorothy and Scarecrow. And, yeah, I donâ€™t know her name.We were all working. And we stood with our shovels in our hands looking upward forward toward what we hoped to be any kind of temporal cure for this wholly temporary world.
When humans first went into space, looneys thought we might find God or Heaven up there.
Who knows? Who knows. All of Possibility.
Apartment buildings went up around the church which was turned into a movie theater with blacked-over stained glass. Watching other folks movies. Lamp through lens through screen through lens through lamp though lens. Some of those movies are giants.
She keeps the next days clothes piled under the covers with her when she sleeps. Gets dressed and puts her boots on warm and still in bed.
A light so bright it surely is the heavenly glow is blaring through my window glass, encroaching my bed. And the window pane is vibrating, clarion, like someone is running their finger around the rim.
Enough killing time. The rooster crows, plug the refrigerator in for the day. I look out my window and see poor textile manufacturing and factories, but, also, I look up to an as yet unexplored outer space. Dirty factories and cutting edge science.
The city lights turn off and on. The smokestacks, a parade, statues of Stalin, Lenin, a crowd of women carrying on their shoulders plywood covered in shoes and a statue of the Virgin.
It takes a while to fully realize the end of an empire.
I walk to work thinking how whatever job we have, whatever menial tasks weâ€™re tasked to do could just as likely be construction or throwing a wrecking ball. It could change from one to the other. Wheel on a pin. Your foundry stops making umbrella handles and starts casting bomb casings.
Bombs do not miss. They will land on and decimate anything. Anything.
Think of it like this: I tried to picture a God who would be pleased by the Iraq War. A faÃ§ade, propped up by extremely long 2x4s. Heâ€™s using our technologies and the worst of our brains. Chunks of gold are falling off him and into the open hands of those dissuading the search for the real unanthropomorphized thing.
Itâ€™s the act. The physical act of a hand pouring the pills into his mouth. Of a functioning hand knotting the noose. A living hand functioning just to make the handâ€™s life stop. This place is much, much too big. I canâ€™t see the top. I stand on my roof and canâ€™t see the top.
How many men have climbed a sinking anchor chain like a ladder? Your last breath fighting to rise. Fighting to rise faster than you can swim. In water or land your last breath wants to rise. There must be an equation or topographical map for what altitude your last breath wants to sink.
All of history had nightmares, first, then dreams of falling off the earth.
I get to bed while the room is still warm.
I worked to know and know every part of my machine. The trestle, needle and slide-rod, the drive shaft and cam that oscillates the arm, driving the needle up and down. The picker-box and feed-drum. All the bobbins. The feed dogs, the drop feed. The feed dogs. Thatâ€™s it. We are only, like, fifteen components within a sewing machine. I wasnâ€™t bragging.
Itâ€™s hard to imagine a rocket pushing against the air like wind pushes against a sail. Thereâ€™s nothing there for resistance. Molecules. Tiny molecules and germs pushing back against fire lift all spaceships
(Dm Em C (Am))
Get your shovels. Your singer sewing machines.
(The working class will bury itself.
|“Tinkerer Used to Be A Trade”|
|This was supposed to be about Thomas Edison. I told everyone it was. And I tried to do it, too. Edison is the closest thing I have to a hero. I am obsessed with light. I know every kind of lightbulb there is. I can call watts and volts from across a field.He helped invent a home-use X-ray machine. Henry Ford had his last breath caught in a vial. The guy was pretty much perfect. Concrete housing developments and cygnet horns. A billion filaments, 35 millimeter- executing an elephant. Westinghouse-ing, etc.â€œTinkererâ€ used to be a profession.But not anymore.I canâ€™t do this anymore.Itâ€™s getting harder and harder to feel like youâ€™re flying over a hill. And the things that thrill me are getting quieter, weirder and further apart.Mostly, I wanted to remind you that there are still good things in this world.
(Title Card: â€œThis is to remind you there are still good things in the worldâ€)
Good joinery on chairs.
The Wright Brothers.
The slight curve of the waterpump handle.
Edison fighting off death until it killed him.It took my son Garland three months to play an even passable version of Moonlight Sonata, because 45 minutes is an eternity to a six year old.
Pulling into my driveway.
I wanted to remind you that there is still good in the world.
Light is silent, or at least very, very quiet. I really appreciate that about light these days.
I think of reaping what you sow. A lightbulb tree growing over Edisonâ€™s grave.
Melville in that giant ugly endless ocean. Still with us.
Itâ€™s getting harder and harder to feel like youâ€™re flying over a hill.
(Here is where you make the thing feel like flying over a hill.)
Weathervane chickens and stars that look way too close to the earth. We are all running out of money. Weâ€™re all scraping, digging and staying inside. We look for a guiding light in compromise. Mourning and Deliverance.
Waiting for Mark Twain at the podium it occurred to me (that you will not be raised up. You yourself must rise. I will build this thing with my own hands) it doesnâ€™t matter what age the marching band-as long as thereâ€™s a marching band. as long as the bass drums are huge and every cymbal is crashing at once.
All of history wraps around him. All of history wraps around him. Itâ€™s huge, like an oceanâ€¦ and heâ€™s drowning in it.
(I will build this thing with my own hands.)
Some kind of redemption I canâ€™t quite put my finger on but that I spend all day every day looking around and searching for.
|Towards the end of his life Beethoven was nearly deaf. Everyone knows that. You knew that and I know it. Lately, all I can do is listen to Moonlight Sonata and fÃ¼r elise and think of that. Beethoven deaf.Living in a second floor apartment in the middle of Salzburg- deaf and writing his 9th symphony.Heâ€™d bite into the piano when he played it. The vibrations would rattle through his head and shake the little bones in his ears.Heâ€™d lay his head on the floor and hit it with a frying pan or a hammer. He would throw the hammer across the room, through a mirror, and watch it bounce off the wall behind the mirror and the floor underneath. He would decide what instruments fit those sounds:
Hammer whistling across the room= flute
Hammer through mirror= cymbal
Hammer against wall, if it hits a stud= 14 inch tom
Hammer drops to floor= bass drumwith his head to the floor so he could hear it all.
with his head to the floor he could hear all of it.While humming the first part of the symphony, womenâ€™s voices, trumpets and a chorus of violins hovering around his head, Ludwig von Beethoven dragged his couch across the floor- mmm, mmh mmmm- rasping along madly in his old man voice, calming and raising, intensity up and down, comforting himself and stomping his foot on the floorThe girl who lived in the apartment below him during all this, who told me all this, is an old woman now, and she still has nightmares.â€œThere were bite marks on his piano!â€Beethoven breaks off his doorknob with a shoe. (holding his shoe in his hand, banging it on the doorknob until it breaks).
All of his weird, haunting chorale voices exposed, one by one. Clattering. Crushing him. Lonely.
The rafters to the house shook when he died and came thundering to the floor= Beautiful and gigantic grand finale.
I think he did die in a thunderstorm after losing custody of a nephew he was obsessed with who hated him. I think he didnâ€™t give a shit about the nephew until his brother died, and he battled the childâ€™s mom for custody. And won. Beethoven was always winning.
And he made his way to the window, where, outside, strange carolers sang one song, all night.
The sounds crowding around him ominous.
And as the weather gets bad and the wind gets cold,
They were moving in on us
Mmm. Mhmmm. Hmmm.
Sitting in front of you is an old woman with her head bowed- and a big long life inside of there. Good things. Bad things. Giant memories bowed just in front of you.
Beethoven and the bite marks on his piano.
Just in front of you.
|“Walt Whitman’s Brain”|
|â€¦ At least I dreamed all night about how beautiful you were. How beautiful you were and Robert E. Lee and Walt Whitmanâ€™s Brain was some kind of adding machine with crows on the beach watching Lincolnâ€™s ship disappearing out to sea. And fuck, I still say, â€œFollow Me.â€ And sometimes you do. â€œFollow me,â€ I say like some drunken pied-piper no one should ever follow. I say it like some drunken pied-piper the other army is all aiming for and missing. I say it with bullets hanging all around me. But I say it with confidence, like a good boxer, or a surgical intern before the knifeâ€™s in his hand. I say it with confidence, and sometimes you do.But I still must dream about how beautiful you were. I still must remember how beautiful you were. I still must talk to you and remember how beautiful you were.It is funny, isnâ€™t it though? All this rage masquerading as hope.|
|Â¬This is the house where I grew up. My Aunt Carlin moved in there with us when she was 35. She had diabetes and she just wanted to die.She was my motherâ€™s sister, so my mother took her in. â€œSheâ€™s good to me, like scotchgard, she keeps me clean,â€ she said.Iâ€™d like to think her head was burning, there was a furnace in there, she was struggling to adjust and couldnâ€™t pull the weight. She was all out of coal. But I remember it slow, no burn and cold.When I was a kid I read all these beginner science books- â€œThereâ€™s a Skeleton Inside You,â€ â€œFloating and Sinking.â€ That kind of thing.
I learned about buoyancy. I learned matter can never be created nor destroyed. I learned energy is rolling or waiting to be rolled. Degrees in a triangle, in a book, the bulge at the worldâ€™s belly. Fulcrums supporting the weight. Bridges twisting in a hurricane before they break, sound vibrating. Push and push back, centrifugal force, conductivity, pulling science off the cross, twisting it in your hands until the room glows and tradition breaks.Carlin was slowly going bad around us- she would go to the hospital and come back missing a couple of toes, or part of her leg, a finger, she was getting amputated away. It was like watching a person with an apple for a head, rotting, a speedy inevitable decay. The space around her eyes turned brown, they were going bad, then she was blind. She wouldnâ€™t take any medicines. her mind was filled with poisons already- apple seeds around the core, her brain floating on a sea of mercury looking for the shore. Your body finds its own feet, and your eyes will find the door, but the knob wonâ€™t turn itself. She was long hollowed of health. She thought sheâ€™d never die. I was pretty sure she would.The thermometer burrowed another cavity in her teeth, your temperature is rising, the sea is getting deep. She spotted Virginia Woolf in the creek beside our house and went outside to talk to her, chasing her down. There is no beauty, no wonder, no time lapse tricks, just weight. The only trick is to pull the weight. There is no Jesus by the tracks, no insulin, teeth canâ€™t hold onto gums, chattering and grinding them to boney nubs, hollowed and grim, smiling when the lights go down. It was much much brighter when the lights went down.By the ovenâ€™s heat, I was standing in the kitchen. It was difficult to watch someone disappear that way. I donâ€™t have those kind of visions. Itâ€™s difficult to gain perspective. â€¦If I could have any superpower, I wouldnâ€™t get smaller as I move farther away.I listen to those Bob Dylan songs with the volume all the way up. I canâ€™t turn the fucking music up loud enough. A room full of young men in wheelchairs- a pile of crutches by the door. Bandages, amputees, half-leg, drugs/half-life, liver/shelf life. Bringing our children home from an unnecessary war one piece at a time.
Matter and only matter, right?A thunderstorm blowing stars around. The creek flooding, fish flopping around by the driveway. Ghosts rising by the doorframe. You are sitting very, very still. Watching it crash hard outside the window. There is a world out there you do not effect at all. Iâ€™m fighting for a change. Iâ€™m holding onto hope, no depression and light. Everyone needs something to hold ontoâ€¦ right?
But it is not enough. Louder.
(long pause for music- beautiful marching music)
Carlin wore a homemade cotton dress, on it a floral pattern stitched from the hair straight from her head, every day, yellowed and thin, liquor ornamenting skin.
Her husband sunken in the navy writing letters by a 75 watt lightbulb in the belly of a whale.
When your tongue muscle died and we squeezed words from you one by one, syllables stretched and weâ€™d invent sentences from fragments.
What am I building this for? What the hell am I building this for. I have a right to know.
There are a lot of ugly things in this world
We are all rising up.
I can hear a million moths flurrying around the front porch.
|This is Paulina Hollers. Itâ€™s about this asshole kid, and his mom, Paulina, whoâ€™s a religious nut.
Fingers curled/tendons tight, the morning rooster began to stir and cast light
Now everyone says â€œPaulina, your child is a bad child- heâ€™s rotted through- heâ€™s going to burn like a coal mine in hellsâ€™ fire.
Knotted/lifted, already setting in
But some beauty shining through- God conducts the weather, squeezes it from the clouds. Godâ€™s hands spin the world as it speeds up and slows down.Paulinaâ€™s son Holler is an asshole. Iâ€™ve seen him with the Phillips head twisting live bugs into the ground or at his bedroom window pumping the BB-gun. Such a powerful feeling for a child like the muscles in a crowâ€™s jaw, pushing them around and thinking of all the funny things that crow could have said to save his own life. The first time you shot a bird, you didnâ€™t kill it, you winged it, and my Dad had to step on its head.
Holler shoots the rabbit with the BB-gun and goes outside to pick it up by the ears to drag it to the roadside so a car can run over its head.
When Holler got hit by a bus the impact was quiet but effective as a Civil War bomb shattering Shilohâ€™s trees. Fingernails splinter on the asphalt. The rabbit gets away and Hollers ghost slips into Hell.A medic whoâ€™d obviously no children of his own cut open Hollerâ€™s skin with the scissors. There was no blood getting to the heart. You could see it purpling clearly. Normally the scissors would have revealed a red nest of life, crammed to the frame, â€¦but the sun will shine on most anything.
Godâ€™s hands spin the lamps as the ambulance speeds and shows up late.
Sew it up when you get what you came for.The medic goes to Paulinaâ€™s house to tell her her sonâ€™s dead. Sheâ€™s home, so he goes in, and he tells her.
Itâ€™s easy for us to do- die- because God builds like Frank Lloyd Wright: you can marvel at the mechanics, ingenuity and occasional beauty, but we are by no means sound. Weâ€™re not even weather proof.
The raindrops pound the ground. The raindrops hammer the tin roof and the windowpanes. Wet clouds scrape against and corrode the house walls.
Paulinaâ€™s trying to figure out just how bad a kid her son was, if heâ€™s in hell. Sheâ€™s getting drunk. She talks to birds. Bread gets moldy.
There are woes here, digging cracks deep into her skin. And these cracks will stretch and continue to grow until they are big enough to swallow her whole. â€¦And then they will swallow her whole.
â€œBut these are just wrinkles,â€ she thought. â€œAnd of course they will stretch and continue to grow, but itâ€™s not because of burden and certainly not woe, itâ€™s because Iâ€™m aging. And I will keep aging and aging until I get old.â€
And this satisfied her enough to where she could shake off the cuffs she imagined shackled her legs to the bed.
But not quite enough for all her strength to pull up the anchor strapped to her head.
So her legs started floating, and her body soon followed, but that anchor was heavy- and her head was just not allowed.When nighttime rolls around, I will lean to my window above my vent and scream at the owls in the trees until theyâ€™re looking at me. And I will ask them which way you went.Paulina gets up and goes running to her garden, thinking â€œmaybe he is in hell, but maybe just beneath the garden, with roots and rabbits, tied.â€
â€œAnd I could hear him down there, but I just never could look down.â€The radiator rattles in a steady rhythm. The radiator hums a constant melody. The high notes and accompanying clank, the steady hand religious pulse, the dust blurring your face.
The sunlight hits the dust around your head and you are glowing like you have a halo.
There is a great weight around my head.
I sat up with the diving bell still on or climbed out of bed with an aeroplane propellor still tangled in my hair. There is a great weight around my head. There are bushes here that could be trees if they wanted to be, and trees that bend down to the dirt. Trees that bend under the weight of weightless winds like men bent under the weight of weightless worries.
The waterâ€™s still boiling in the tub.
But youâ€™re still around, youâ€™re all around. Youâ€™re under the carpet and in the light between the bulb and the shade. Youâ€™re in the cupboards and soaring above the trees between the branches and leaves. But she looked at the cupboards, and he wasnâ€™t there. She looked at the lamp and it wasnâ€™t even on, and that thing snagged in the branches outside her window was not her son.
Paulina throws up as high as she can muster, with all her might hurls at the air leaden hallelujahs and amens. â€œPlease, Lord, send him back,â€ or â€œPlease help him through.â€ Leaden prayers that bent the rafters when they fell back down.
I looked for the devil in the wavy photographs of you, through the fogged lens of the frame, and I couldnâ€™t see a thing. I couldnâ€™t make my mind up, it didnâ€™t ease my loss. If the devil is deep enough inside you, your hands are still hands, itâ€™s the bones that are claws.
Fingers curled/tendons tight, the morning roosterâ€™s quiet, no depression/no light. He is in hell, he has to be, there is too much desperation, there is static in your voice and a great big bass drum banging in my ears. Rise up! RISE UP! Youâ€™re hurtling, headlong, running out of gas, you get so tangled in the science of it that it doesnâ€™t make sense, which boneâ€™s connected to which bone, the drum rollâ€™s wave-forms, color-patterns, tuba blast horn and trombone, there is no reason or rhyme to being alive.
Last night I plowed the garden with a divining rod, divining for my child. Fish hooks and looped twine, there is never reason nor rhyme. T
The world spins wobbly on it axis, trying to shake you loose. Looser when the nighttime falls, wobblier when the sun goes down. The world spins wobbly on its axis and I have thought, thought this and thought this through: to let go, because to hold on would mean letting go of you. I leave circling pigeons above me, â€œHere I go.â€ I struggle with the meaning on mercy, â€œPlease God go with me.â€And Paulina shoots herself.In hell there is a blind rabbit choir, rabbits chattering and great big blackbirds pecking the corners off the sky, a somber after-party of the Nuremburg trials. Roots in their beaks, pulling them hard to try to bust through the ceiling of their sky, our ground and swarm out into our world.Paulina is in hell searching for her son. She will find him and try to escape, racing full speed, grabbing onto the roots and branches they can reach and climb them as ladders, looking for the underside of their garden.Iâ€™ve got worries. I was a tree with fat roots for feet. I was a tree with benevolent inner rings and violent twisting limbs, with limited height. And the wind whipped me around. The wind and clouds funneled into my ears and pounded on my eardrums, and it was not the wind, but that pounding that shook me apart.The birds pulling roots are making little holes in their sky, the dirt falling on Paulinaâ€™s head. Sparrows, Crows, funneling through sinkholes and swarming around Paulinaâ€™s empty house.
Paulina and Holler donâ€™t get out. You canâ€™t just â€¦leave hell. No matter how bad you think it is.
And look at the world here around us:
We are always forgetting to sing and to move
We are always forgetting harder times.
And even if you shake your hands to shake it loose
I cannot believe weâ€™re always forgetting that.
|There are some people who think Santa Claus cranks together Christmas with a gigantic golden wrench.
â€¦Thatâ€™s not altogether true.You see, Santa was not an old man, but he had a cold for as long as he could remember. And when he was feeling ill, which was most all the time, he drank Hadacol. Hadacol was a cough syrup that was popular a while back. It sponsored a lot of Hank Williamsâ€™ radio shows, and, like Hank Williams, it contained about fifty percent whiskey. Santaâ€™s garbage can was filled with empty bottles.
His liver was huge and caked with blood, and this was why he felt sick most of the time. He also stayed awake all night, every night, and this was why he felt sick the rest of the time. But he strained to stay up filled with a fear that, while sleeping, heâ€™d put himself away and just not remember where.There was no Mrs. Claus, but he did have a scarecrow in the yard. And heâ€™d become quite adept at building everything from outlandish machinery to little trinkets and baubles. Of all the things Santa made, some were wonderful, some practical but none were just merely passable, unusual or okay.
He had a footpump for putting air back into dying baby birds.
He had a phonograph that made beautiful concertas out of strange unearthly sounds.
Even though it was dried and dying, he kept a gold holly garland hemmed with the hair of hounds.He would walk around the garage for days, muttering to himself with an unholy conviction. Trees would bend and water boil from the friction when he was really thinking. And they boiled and bent and twisted away on the night he finished work on his death-defying, awe-inspiring, backfiring flying sleigh.â€œIâ€™LL CALL IT CHRISTMAS!â€ He exclaimed. Because Christmas was going to be the very next day.
And then he snapped.It had been a rough day, heâ€™d been feeling really off, dizzy and stuffed up. Heâ€™d taken a lot of medicine as was feeling very warm. The room was tighter than it seemed. Thousands of boxes lay sprawled across the floor. Hundreds of contraptions and apparatus stuffed with millions of cogs and wires were spilling out of the sheds and closets. Nothing was where it should be. Nothing was anywhere.
He looked in the tackle-box for the hagfish defibrillator and found hooks and greased string. He looked under the sink where the pipes used to be. The fridge was empty. The socket in the bathroom light was empty. There was no more honey in the jar. Nothing was everywhere.
Claus wrapped his arms around all of it, picking up what he could and throwing it on the backseat of the sleigh. He was a monster with wrought-iron bones. His body an old mansion, his mouth the door. The walls are melted wax, ceiling holeâ€™s empty and the sky is very clear. I can watch it all from way up here by the gasoline lights.
In the attic giant crows were arguing. One, staring at the rafters, had a split down his seam where his stuffing poured out onto the floor. He was digging around in the soft dirty pile looking for anything worth saving. Everyone in there buzzed and hovered, hemmed and hawed, but there was nothing wrong with him. Nothing at all.
When the sleigh buckled and coughed Santa held on tight. It would probably explode. Heâ€™d kept files on hand for precisely this occasion: bone samples, dental X-rays, wire brushes full of hair full of DNA. But in the first thirty seconds, when you and I would figure things would most likely go wrong, nothing did.
And when the sleigh finally parted the air on the outskirts of town, the exhaust puffing and chugging its fearsome sound, children tried to pretend they were still sleeping. And when they heard Santa howling they pulled the blankets back over their heads. And he was roaring â€œHO! HO! HO!â€ wildly, chasing the wind around the buildings and scaring the snow to the ground, and all of the beautiful toys he had labored on came hurtling down.Up here itâ€™s beautiful. Clouds make quiet scraping sounds as they drag across the sky. Thereâ€™s a glowing Chernobyl backdrop and you are much too high to make out the mess.Everyone finally did get back to sleep, and Santa Claus passed out in the cold cold weather. And hours after you had tuckered out, your bed rose off the ground and past the window. The pit orchestra kicked in and kicked in hard. Dreaming that all night itâ€™s a wonder you slept at all, but wondrous things happen all the time and to sleep through even one of them could cripple your life. But it will come back tomorrow. Just more ragged, and with weeds in your teeth and blood all over your hands.On Christmas morning all the children found something wonderful half buried in the drifts around their homes. It was declared a holiday because the smokestacks shook and broke, and there was just too much snow.
|“Susa’s Red Ears”|
|This is Susaâ€™s Red Ears- a little story about a girl with a firetruck in her head, and they day the sun explodes, and she doesnâ€™t.
Susa owns a headache and a firetruck, which sheâ€™s gliding across the carpet. And while everyone else is downstairs, she sticks her truck all the way between her hair, through her ears and right inside her head.
She gets up, walks across her room and lays down on top of her dresser to whisper new ideas she made out of a coat-rack and her dadâ€™s old army clothes. New styles, like the tin-foil skull cap, and old mysteries like how to engineer a taller child. Sheâ€™s been working on the doggy-gas-bagâ€¦ but that still has a couple of kinks that need to be worked out.
Susa climbs onto her robotâ€™s arms and paints a large rectangle of paste on the wall. She turns and tosses herself at the block. The fumes will hold her up, but her heavy eyelids are weighing her down.There are trucks everywhere. They lay a slippery layer of fat across the roads. Itâ€™s preservation, you know. Nothing will be accessible that you donâ€™t already have, so tonight, keep it safe. Donâ€™t get hurt. Chew your food.
And heâ€™s leering. She used to be pretty. Heâ€™s got her in a drunk-goggle-spotlight- yeah, sheâ€™s handcuffed to his mind. And she still tries to look pretty.Susa, or whatâ€™s left of Susa, floats out of her window and down alongside the greasy streets. Ambulances are off tonight and her bodyâ€™s as good as dead. Big green crushed velvet hills punch holes through skies that are so rough they look like carpet. The stars above her head are shaking violently. The ground smells like lighter fluid, and Susaâ€™s eyes keep dropping deeper into her head.
Thereâ€™s a loud tapping and a little pain in her forehead, and her eyes peel open slowly just in time to smack a barely controlled spoon before it whacks her in the face again.
Just like the spoon, a boy falls onto the grass next to Susa, and instantly moths and insects are crawling all over his face. He sits up spitting. Spittingâ€¦ huge smiles.
And this boy, whose head was shaped like a giant pear soaked for months in ugly, waves his fingers wildly in front of Susaâ€™s dilated eyes. Yeah, and those trucks with their crazy wires and chairs do look like huge ice-cream scoops.
And Stephen Hawking is vomiting Jim Beam onto his wheels on a bridge somewhere outside of New York City.Crowds voices creak all blurred under the restroom door. The condom machine is inexplicably humming. An older man in a nice suit walks up to the public toilet stall and knocks on the locked door very loudly. And they are almost arguing. But the man inside isnâ€™t touching the latch. But the tall man was a smart one, too, and he was already planning the plan he would hatch.This is how it will be, just like every other one thatâ€™s ever been: batteries bulging acidic life, come-ons that would be so embarrassing in natural light.
Susaâ€™s slipping on the shoulder by a broken down Nova and she sits down where no one has sat down in a long, long time. Surely there are mice scurrying somewhere in the glovebox, behind the leather strap-shreds shimmying in the breeze.And he likes it- and heâ€™s spinning and spinning, and he mis-steps a little bit, and thatâ€™s a dead mouse under his foot. And itâ€™s going to be a sad, sad mouse funeral.Well, morning was attacking a little faster than usual. Nobody doubts that when the sun explodes, and itâ€™s exploding right now, that there will be enough little embers burning holes through houses and childrenâ€™s heads to give the moon and martians a little illumination for a while. And by a burning fence used to hide a swingset and the devilâ€™s dogbox, good things starting crumbling. Susaâ€™s just standing there watching him smolder.Headaches go away. Susaâ€™s has. And as her skin is melting a disgusting shade of clear across her eyes the stink of melting plastic blows heroic across dead noses everywhere, Susaâ€™s firetruck hoses spin wildly, dousing the flames and bruises and calming the pain with tap-water of the most beautiful kind.